My sentiments exactly....

Earl Had to Die

I leave in 3 weeks! THREE WEEKS PEOPLE!!!

I'm trying really hard not to freak out (but as you can see by the caps lock usage above, I am obviously freaking out haha).

Last night me and my little brothers and sister and their friends watched The Woman in Black.

(I was going to put a picture here, but they were all too scary and I immediately regretted searching for them on Google- it brought back bad memories.....)

I've watched the movie before, a few years ago, and I remembered it being not too scary.

FALSE.

About 30 minutes into the film all 6 of us were sharing one cushion on the couch and gripping onto each other like our lives depended on it.

Here are some quotes from the night....

*a few minutes into the movie*

Nathan: "Jeff, go turn the lights off."

Jeff: "Amanda, go turn the lights off."

Amanda: "Natalie, go turn the lights off."

"Gross, I have earwax all over my fingers from plugging my ears so hard." (Jeff)

"I need to get a drink. Pause it. NO, DON'T PAUSE IT THERE, NOW I CAN'T GET HER FACE OUT OF MY MIND!!!" (Nathan)

"Why is it so scary when a door opens or closes? Whyyy?" (Treyson)

"Treyson.... are you holding Amanda's hand?" (Natalie)

"Oh my gosh, I just farted five times in a row." (Jeff)

"Jeff, have you even opened your eyes once?" (Treyson)

And then, after it was all over, 

Nathan: "That wasn't scary at all! Jeff, go turn on the light."

Jeff: "Amanda, go turn on the light."

Amanda: "Natalie, go turn on the light."

Once we finally turned the light on, Nathan put in a Cosby Show called "Happy Land" to lighten the mood.... To be honest, it was almost as creepy as the movie.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

In other news, me and Jeff recently discovered a song by the Dixie Chicks called "Goodbye Earl," about a guy named Earl who was mean to his wife, so throughout the song they repeatedly sing "Earl had to die."

We think it's hilarious because Jeff's middle name is Earl, which I call him all the time, and the song is actually pretty funny.

So tonight I got home from work, and immediately ran downstairs to tackle Jeff, 

screaming that he had to die.

His response:

"Ow ow ow stop stop!!! My back! I have sensitive shoulder blades!"

Sometimes I just love my family.

Sunsets and Tapping Moments

I love NieNie's Mormon Message. 

If you haven't watched it yet, you need to. 

Stephanie Nielson inspires me. She is boss at raising a righteous family in a non-righteous world. She is confident, courageous, and also an adorable, amazing wife and mother.

However, I'm sure her life isn't perfect. Besides her horrific accident, I'm sure she also faces daily trials just like the rest of us. I'm sure people belittle and make fun of her for her stands and beliefs, she gets stressed out and busy, some days she is tired and doesn't want to get out of bed, and some days she just asks, "why me?"

No one is exempt from those daily struggles.

In a world that's become so devoted to carelessness, ease, and simplicity, it is becoming harder and harder to take a stand for what is right. It takes effort- it takes HARD work- and sometimes, even with all our efforts, we are still ignored, ridiculed, or just simply not noticed.

But thank heavens that it only really matters if ONE person notices, 

and we can safely rest assured that He does.

In her video, NieNie talks about tapping moments, or times when we are
reminded of Heavenly Father's love for us.

I love that.

I believe Heavenly Father sends us those tapping moments to give us the strength to keep going, to remind us why we are here, and why it's WORTH IT to keep fighting for what's right and good, even when there isn't much that is right or good to be seen.

As I look back on my past week, I can see many tapping moments. Small, but simple, things that let me know, without a doubt in my mind, that someone is watching over me.

What are some of your recent tapping moments?

God IS aware.

He knows my struggles, my worries, my heartaches, my fears, my joys. And yours too.

As I was driving to my grandma's house tonight, I looked out my window and saw the most beautiful summer sunset. I was stressed out, frustrated, tired, lacking in spirituality and annoyed.

But as I looked at that sunset, breaking through the clouds with rain falling in the distance, the thought came to my mind "God is over all things," and I felt such peace and comfort. 

Even the sun shines through the rain and clouds;
to me that is a more beautiful sunset than any other.

And so it is with life. God's light is still there during our struggles.
We just have to look at the big picture. 

And often that picture is more beautiful than any other.

Bring on the Truth

Every once in a while I come across something that reminds me why I'm doing what I'm doing, and this song is one of those things. 

I've always had a thing for acoustic guitar, and this guy's versions of hymns and primary songs are pretty dang sweet.

God's work is moving forward- and we are so BLESSED to be a part of it!

The Best Advice I've Ever Received

Two years ago, when I was an awkward, terrified, newby, freshman at BYU, 

I was struggling.

I'm a perfectionist, a worrier, was going through a lot of change, stuck in the "want-to-be-independent-but-still-don't-know-how-to-make-my-own-dinner" stage, and I was unhappy.

I was regretting a lot of things about the life I had, but I didn't know how to change it.

I wanted to be happy, but I felt STUCK.

I felt like I wasn't good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, fun enough,

worth enough.

One day I was visiting my aunt and uncle (see my aunt's awesome blog ---->)

and their family in Spanish Fork.

I was talking to my uncle Desi 

(he's the coolest guy on the planet, and always has good advice).

He started talking to me about EXPECTATIONS. About how we have expectations for others, and expectations for ourselves. And it's when those expectations aren't being met that we feel sad and discouraged and depressed. So we have to let those expectations go.

What?

Let go of expectations? But what about everything I need to accomplish in life? What about building relationships with people? Shouldn't there be expectations for that? How do I know where to draw the line- when to expect something and when not to? What if I'm trying too hard? What if I'm not trying hard enough?

Then the answer hit me-

Let go of YOUR expectations, and live by GOD'S.

Boom. It all makes sense.

I mean, he's always saying stuff like, "Be still" and "Men are that they might have joy" and "Do not labor more than you have strength." And when God says something, he probably means it.

Let HIM be the one in control. Life needs to have expectations, but we don't have to worry about coming up with them. They are already put in place by our loving Father.

When I live by His expectations, I am SO much happier. 

He is merciful, joyful, peaceful, patient, and forgiving.

If I start living by my own expectations, I become my own worst enemy.

When I live by HIS expectations, I find true joy and peace.

I feel content, because I know He is content with me- just the way I am, flaws and all.

He's in control. He's got this. We just need to LET him.

Be still, and TRUST that he is YOUR God.

DETAILED Sister Missionary Packing List!

(sorry, I just needed my Ryan Gosling fix for the day)

Now that we've gotten that out of the way....

I made this packing list starting from this awesome sister's list here, 

and then changed it up a little bit to fit my own needs.

My mission has humid hot summers, and humid cold winters, 

so I have to be prepared for both! The struggle is real...

I'm a perfectionist and a worrier, so this list is VERY detailed and probably has more than I'll need, but it makes me feel better to have it all written down. 

(But ultimately, keep this in mind: the olden day missionaries had NOTHING to start with on their missions- "they were without purse or scrip"- but God still watched over them and took care of their needs... so if they can do it we can too!)

Hope this helps!

Bags and Suitcases

- A larger cross-body purse (OGIO will give a 50% missionary discount if you fill out this form)

- A smaller cross-body purse (not necessary, but just a regular-sized purse if you want)

-  2 suitcases (62 dimensional inches, no more than 50 pounds)

-  1 carry-on suitcase (45 dimensional inches)

- duffle bag (good for splits, but not necessary)

-  Luggage Tags

-  Camera case

-  Toiletry bags (makeup case, etc.)

-  Scripture case

- Packing cubes (only if you want)

Underclothes

-  12-14 pairs regular garments (Drilux if going somewhere humid, thermals if somewhere cold; otherwise it's whatever is comfortable for you!)

- 2 white running sports bras

- 3 white bras/nude

- 2-3 slips

- a couple of long sleeve undershirts (if going somewhere cold)

- 4-5 short-sleeve undershirts; neutral colors and then maybe some fun colors too! (I like the new DownEast Essential tees- they fit perfectly over garments so they don't show!)

Feet

- 1-2 pairs of neutral colored (cream/black/gray/tan) COMFY shoes for heavy-duty walking (Clarks, Keen, Naturalizer, Dansko, etc.)

-a few pairs of colored flats, for days where you don't walk as much (Target, H&M, etc.)

-a pair of short heels (not necessary, unless you like heels!)

-Dr. Scholl's inserts (Walmart, not necessary)

- Waterproof rain boots (if needed)

-Snow boots

-Boots for fall

- Tennis shoes (for Workout & Service)

- 1 pair shower flip flops

- 1 pair of slippers/fuzzy socks (for warm feet on those cold winter nights)

-heavy duty socks to wear with boots in winter (to keep feet warm)

- half socks (12 pairs, to wear with flats)

-6 pairs of regular socks for exercising

Workout Clothes

- 2 short sleeved running shirts/t-shirts

- 1 long-sleeve running shirt/sweatshirt

- 2-3 pairs of workout pants/sweats

- headbands!! (to keep hair back from face)

Service & PJs

- 2 pairs of PJ pants

-2 pairs of PJ shorts

- 5 t-shirts/normal shirts (Service and Pday)

- 2 pairs of jeans (Service & Pday)

Outerwear 

- 1 winter coat

- winter gloves, scarf, earmuffs/earwarmers

- 1 rain coat

- 2 peacoats/jackets (for colder but not snowy weather)

- sweatshirt (for working out or just to wear at night if it's cold)

Everyday (*thrift shopping will save your life!)

- 8-12 Skirts (get mostly neutral colors, so it's easier to match with shirts, but then get a few more patterned ones for fun!) *ALSO: I've heard that once you get out into the field, comfort beats style!

-10-20 Shirts

-Sweaters

-Cardigans

- 1-2 Dresses

-Tights/leggings

            -regular tights (solid colors; black, gray, maybe a colored pair for fun)

            -fleece-lined (for cold days)

- Belts

- Jewelry (keep it simple)

- Watch

Bathroom Supplies

- 1 towel (small microfiber one for hair)

- 2 regular bath towels

- 1 hand towel

- 2 wash cloths

- Face wash 

- Face lotion/moisurizer

- Mascara

- Eyeshadow

- Eyeliner/sharpening pencil

- Tweezers to pluck the brows!

- Foundation and  powder

- Face sunscreen (not necessary)

- Chap stick, lip gloss!

- Body wash, shampoo, and conditioner (just need small bottles, then get bigger once get to area)

- Razor and Shaving cream

- Perfume

- Deodorant

- Lotion!

- Nail polish

- Toothbrush

- Toothpaste

- Floss

- Hair spray

-  Hair mousse and gel

- Hair brush and comb

- Hair ties

-Hair accessories (bows, flowers, headbands, etc.)

- Bobby pins 

- Blow drier

- Curling iron

- Straightener

- lady items

-contacts and solution

Outdoor

- Umbrella (preferably one that can be compact and fit in your bag)

- Insect Repellent (contains DEET, 20%-35%)

- Sunscreen (at least 45 SPF)

- Aloe vera (for those sunburns)

Bedding

- set of bedding (TWIN)

- 2 pillow cases

- Blanket/quilt (I've heard it helps to have a blanket from home, for those inevitable nights when you will feel lonely and cry yourself to sleep (but remember- it's all for a good cause!))

Other items 

- Alarm clock with no radio (and also preferably without an obnoxious sound.... is that even possible?)

- Tide TO GO

- photo album/pictures/quotes/general conference talks/inspirational things to put on your wall and remind you of home and why you came on your mission in the first place

- Exercise ideas

- Recipe book

- Address book (to keep contact info. for people you meet, and also to keep contact info. for the people you leave behind so you can write them while you're gone)

- Stamps

- Envelopes

- CD’s with church musica

- piano music

- First Aid Kit (multi-vitamins, cold meds, decongestant, fever reducer, pain reliever, anti- diarrhea meds, antibiotic ointment, anti-itch cream, anti –fungal cream, band aids, etc.)

- pair of glasses, with case and cleaning solution and cloth

- Sewing Kit (mini)

- Thermometer

- Laundry Bag (BAG- I've heard you want a bag so you don't have to lug your laundry all over the MTC)

- Duct tape (for blisters)

- Flash light

- Batteries

- Camera 

- jump drive (to save pictures on from camera, that way if your camera gets stolen you won't lose them)

-SD card reader (to put your pictures on the computer so you can upload them and email them to your family)

-$200 on a personal debit card (for traveling expenses; they will give you a church debit card when you get out into the field for all other mission expenses like groceries, etc.)

-$50 in cash for MTC

-wallet

Churchy stuff

- Scriptures

- Journal

- 5-Subject notebook (to make notes in while studying)

- Pens, pencils, colored pencils, highlighters 

- Copy of patriarchal blessing

- Copy of call letter

-Mission approved books

- Pedigree chart (4 generations back)

Don't forget!

- Current temple recommend

- Government issued ID to show at airport (Driver’s License)

- Immunizations Record (need when dropped off at MTC)

- DMV Driving Record (if going on a driving mission; your mission president should tell you)

- Quarters to make calls from the airport

Things to Do Before Leaving:

-figure out bank account

-figure out cell phone

-go to the dentist, eye doctor, and finish up any other medical problems

-get tax info all ready for parents

-make sure deferment and everything for school is finished up, and the school knows to contact parents while I'm gone

-get blog ready to go

-figure out what to do with Facebook account

-make an “inspiration book” of quotes, talks, pictures, exercise tips, recipes, etc.

-gather piano music and music/talks to listen to

-get driver’s license extended (if going to a driving mission- your mission president will let you know)

-pack up all my stuff

Good Luck Sisters!

We are part of God's army, and with Him we can accomplish 

ANYthing and ALL things that he asks us to do.

"And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face, I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."

-D&C 84:88-

Inspiration for the Day.

My aunt Ali has cancer.

She is a busy mother of four beautiful kids, and has already fought cancer once before.

Their family was my second family while I was at school in Provo.

She is a fighter, full of faith, and simply amazing.

Read an inspiring post on her blog here, it really changed the way I see my life!

And while you're at it read some of her other posts. They're all great.

I'm grateful to be a Brower- I come from a pretty awesome family.

(just some of my amazing family members-
grandma, grandpa, dad, aunts Cathy, Ali, Jenny, and uncle Chris)

The Life of the Young and Restless....

50 Days!!!

So what is life like living at home for a few months before my mission?

-I try to wake up every morning and exercise and study PMG before I go to work. Some days it works out, other days sleep wins. It happens.

-I work full-time every day at a gardening store 

(except Sundays and one other day a week, my day off! holla!)

-On my day off, I try to hang out with my friends and family and get mission shopping done (key word-try). So far that hasn't worked out too great, because my day-offs lately have consisted of going to a wedding, funeral, and a pioneer trek trial run. It's fine.

-I try to go to the temple once a week, and so far I've met my goal! (I've gone twice, haha)

-Sometimes I go play tennis with my sis, go on a bro-date with my bros, or accidentally break into my own house and have the cops show up..... wait what? Yeah, that happened.... I didn't know I had set the burglar alarm off, okay?

(I've had the cops show up after "breaking into" a building twice already this year. The other time it was at a medical supply store.... I didn't realize it was closed, I promise!)

-I have a calling in the nursery, which I LOVE! Little kids are the best. 

Also, Relief Society in a family ward is a HUGE difference from Relief Society in a single's ward.... so I don't miss it too much.... just sayin'.

-Lately I've been addicted to listening to country music, getting a snow cone, and driving up to the hill to watch the sun set over my beautiful Idaho. I love it here.

Those are the exciting things. But it can be really hard sometimes too. One week was particularly hard- my grandma passed away Thursday, my aunt started her bone marrow transplant Friday morning, I went through the temple for the first time Friday night, and my cousin got married Saturday morning. Talk about emotional weekend!

Other weeks are just really boring. I feel like I should be preparing more, but I don't really know what more else I can be doing. 

People ask me if I'm excited, I am, but it's hard to feel that way all the time.

It's also hard to be living at home again. It's hard to get used to after being on my own for so long and having my own way of doing things. 

My family's the best, but I forgot what it was like to live family life! Independent life is not as stressful, because you can do whatever the heck you want, so sometimes I miss it.

I also get "Oh, Nebraska? I would've just said no haha" or "Nebraska? Well, it's flat there...." or "Nebraska?! OMG you'll love it there it's so..... well...... good luck!"

And when the rare occasion happens that I cross paths with a male life form who is within my age range, they give up on me after five minutes because they see me as "off-limits." I've started living for the moments when the old guy who can barely walk/hear/see, let alone write a check, comes in to buy flowers at my work and calls me "sweetie"........

The struggle is real.

But it's a beautiful struggle. I can look back and laugh and cry and be thankful, because life is all about these learning moments.

And I trust that God has great things in store for me, if I but endure to the end. 

Or at least for 50 more days :)

Night ya'll!